Only I really did say, “fudge” (Apologies to Jean Shepherd, author of A Christmas Story).  

Since all of this year’s Christmas wood shop gift oddities have been opened and accounted for, it’s safe to disclose what came out of the shop (and our kitchen) this year.  It’s been over 40 years since I made a large batch of telescopic lid gift boxes, so that was this year’s choice. When I last did this, was a time before personal computers and so I made recipe card boxes for 3″x5″ recipe cards.

Recipe cards are not used much anymore so I thought that it might be nice to make smaller boxes and enclose some kind of sweet treat from the kitchen.  We make Christmas cookies with friends as a holiday tradition but I didn’t want to usurp that event for my shop gifts.  So I decided on home made fudge for the contents of my boxes.  Not just one fudge, but six varieties in each box, kind of like a sampler box of chocolates.

Naturally, as a woodworker, I focused on the task of making the boxes in time for Christmas.  The wood I chose was a pre cut pine stair tread from the neighborhood lumber yard.  Stair treads are a good source of 1″ thick clear lumber and a favorite starting point for me.

This stair tread however was a particularly resinous piece and after I had made all my little boxes the place smelled like I had washed up with PineSol™.  Fortunately a good airing over the fireplace with the lids off removed most of the “Christmas tree” odor and it didn’t affect the fudge.

The next step was to enlist the help of a friend and co-steward from the Phinney Neighborhood Association Community Wood Shop who just happened to have a Glowforge laser plotter.  He was able to burn a clip art design onto the lids of all the boxes for me (thanks Kevin).

Then came the fudge, starting with a very simple and tasty recipe found on the wrapper of Ghirardelli™ 100% cocoa bars. I then proceeded to adulterate the recipe in every way imaginable, fudge with walnuts, fudge with orange peel (and some orange liqueur), fudge with dried pie cherries (also with liqueur), with peppermint, and with candied ginger.  I also included my mom’s recipe and a version of white fudge with cranberries and orange peel. In all, eight varieties all wrapped in large blocks and vacuum sealed in the fridge for later processing.

I had thought at this point, that the hard part of this project was done.  But as the saying goes,

“When you’re 90% finished, you have 90% left”

Cutting, wrapping and labeling 192 pieces of fudge was something I was not mentally prepared for. My fingers are not generally what I would call “dexterous”, and my talent for wrapping things is why I usually prefer to employ decorative gift bags with stick on bows. Never-the-less I was committed, and by the time I was finished, I was ready to be committed, …to the nearest asylum.

I was a miserable failure at first, but with time I will admit to some facility at wrapping fudge; something I hope never to do again. Imagine the torment of King Midas, only instead of gold, everything you touch turns sticky.  You get the picture.  Thankfully, it’s done and everyone was pleased with the gift, …except one.

As a lark, I had also decided to make a batch of home made licorice.  I cut the licorice into coal shaped chunks and packed one box with it.  The boxes were shuffled and the coal was sent out blindly with a note explaining that it was at random, not a personal judgement and that If you really didn’t like licorice a second box with fudge would be sent.

Well, as I indicated earlier, coal (licorice) was not appreciated so, …fudge.